Perfect no more

October 3rd in Simple Abundance is entitled "Little Miss Perfect". I'm guessing that a lot of women out there can really relate to these thoughts....

Like workaholism, aspiring to be Little Miss Perfect is an addiction of low self-worth. When we were young, nothing we did was ever good enough, so we just kept on doing until doing was all we could do. When doing more and more didn't make a difference, we thought if we did our work perfectly, we'd hit the mark. When we did, suddenly voices other than our own sang our praises. It sounded like the Heavenly hosts, Champagne or chocolate couldn't begin to compare with the ecstasy of genuine compliments. So we committed to doing everything perfectly, setting in motion a cycle of self-destruction that frequently felt as comfortable as a straitjacket ....

A point worth pondering: Upon completing the Universe, the Great Creator pronounced it "very good." Not "perfect."

-Sarah Ban Breathnach

I continue to be this way with so many things that aren't important to me. I bend over backwards for commitments that have little significance to my purpose or my growth. I always want to be the best at everything I try. This has caused frustration and confusion, with myself and with others. When you are giving everything you have for something you aren't passionate about, it just throws things out of whack. Not only are you filling shoes that don't fit, you are taking those shoes away from someone who really wants them. And you are sending out the wrong message to those you are trying to be perfect for. It's ridiculous.

This leads into the passage for October 7, another concept I am new to trying out: saying 'no' to these obligations rather than taking them on (and taking them on perfectly....barf! I'm sick of it!):

Whenever we deny our need to say 'no,' our self-respect diminishes. It is not only our right at certain times to say 'no'; it is our deepest responsibility. For it is a gift to ourselves when we say 'no' to those old habits that dissipate our energy, 'no' to what robs us of our inner joy, 'no' to what distracts us from our purpose. And it is a gift to others to say 'no' when their expectations do not ring true for us, for in so doing we free them to discover more fully the truth of their own path. Saying 'no' can be liberating when it expresses our commitment to take a stand for what we believe we truly need.

-quoted from In Search of Balance: Discovering Harmony in a Changing World

So, let's practice saying 'no'. I've already got a few thoughts in my head, a few commitments that I know in my heart are not right for me. I'm going to say 'no' to at least one thing this week. What can you say 'no' to? Can you let go of being Little Miss Perfect?

I want to, and I'm going to give it my all.